空空

最近我过得好充实。吃喝玩乐样样齐全,虽然爱情上空白了,但也很好啊。不用因为莫个人的言行举止让自己的心情有所变动。

哈哈!! 我只能说我真的学到了什么叫拿得起,放得下。

开心!!! 当然我还是很渴望爱情的到来啦!! ＾.＾

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我

刚刚看到Joyce的一个脸书post, 看到自己的星座忘记一个人的时间需要多久，结果—……哈哈只是很短很短的一分钟。其实，我这个人很矛盾的……说要忘记一个人也不一定是很容易的一件事，除非那个人让我非常伤心、绝望或失望，否则，我很难忘得掉一个人。但是，如果下定决心要忘得话，真的是一点都不会犹豫。

那次的事情我一直觉得我很狠心……有好有坏吧，因为事情已经脱了那么多年，我一直期望的也没有进展。你说我狠心也好无情也好，可能我们真的不适合，所以不要开始也是比较好的吧。你的事情毕竟脱了好些年当然偶尔也会想起你……但我不会再有任何期盼……因为每次的期待都会失望。累了……以后对谁都不会有期待，因为不想自己再受伤。

这几天，想了很多。毕业后因该会去找一份可以让我不在新加坡做工的工作。是时候离开这安定的生活了。离开这个没有桃花盛开的地带，寻找桃花=D

好想你哟~！但又如何勒……

自己

情绪突然变底.....不应该。这是我的问题。我不应该这样的。我该死。

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眼神

你的眼神好像很舍不得我，看了有种怪怪的感觉，但有点开心，其实我也有点不舍。 开心里带有点伤心。

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放下

放下了一段该死的单恋。 又开始我单恋的坏习惯。现在，在还没那么喜欢时，赶快放下吧!因为，不会有好结果的。

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不开心。 我真的不开心。
希望酒精能让我开心点。

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空

虽然开学了，可是心里还是觉得很空。虽然可以看到他那又怎样？因为别人根本没有把你放在眼里，只有我这个笨笨在望着他，人家连说话都不想和你说勒。笨死了!

开学只让我有想把心交回给六年的想法。每天就反复的在想。有着这样的想法表示什么呢?我还喜欢六年的他吗？还是六年的他只是我的避风港？表示我对现在的他没感觉了?还是有别的意思？ 我自己也不知道勒。怎么办啦!我不喜欢这种不确定的感觉，真的很讨厌。

我讨厌为什么自己不能确实的把自己的心情整理好。我只知道如果你再不把我抓紧，我会跑掉的。真的会跑。

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结婚

今天参加了Cosmo n Cynthia 的婚礼感触好多哟! 看到新人幸福的样子我也好想赶快结婚。但现在连男朋友都没有更别提结婚了。

我的人身真的缺少了爱情这一块。是不是因为自己太过于执着所以无法接受人呢?还是，是大家口中的缘分未到？

如果是缘分未到，那我的缘分会何时降临啊?嗨!真冏! 如果缘分来时，他会被我吓死吗?因为我对爱情好像过度期待哟，所以对方的行为可能会让我失望。嗨!总而言之，还是自己的观念问题啦! 因为我看到人家结婚就想结，看到小孩很口爱就想要！真受不了自己呀！

但是还是很为两位新人高兴！祝他们永远幸福，快乐！早身贵子!

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Busy weekend!!

Haha jus came home from Jojo's Nephew BB matt's 3rd birthday party!! hahaha he is jus as cute as usual!! OMG after bathing I still can smell the BBQ smell on me!! HOW!!! Tml got Cosmo's weddng to attend leh... imagine i go thr with the smell.... OMG!!!

This morning woke up n slack a bit then go NTUC hg mall to buy stuffs for making my sushi whaha!! so excited!! dunno wat i do out can eat de ma... but i jus like the process of making!!! ^.^ but making my own bento is also for the sake of having better control of my diet n calories intake.... I WAN SLIM DOWN MORE!!! whahah although at tis point of time i'm slimmest in my life time but i tink i can do more to it!! JIA YOU!!! haha like tht jiu can wear nice nice de clothes le!! and will be able to find boy boy whahaha!! although ppl who look at apperance sucks!*opps!* anyway is jus one more lame excuse for me to go into slimming!

Today even go hg mall to HUNT for dress for tml's wedding... cos i really dun have a proper for the day program for wedding... my dresses are mostly black so abit not good to wear during the day part ba.. so no choice have to keep finding n finding.. so mani days of finding n try end up still dint find a good one... so rush back home... try to make japanese tamago roll but fail... sobzz... rush out aft bathing to meeting gigi n val to proceed to bb matt's Bday... so i set my mind to jus by a skirt from cotton on n wear it to the wedding... try on the purple one gigi say nt bad then i tot the dunno pink or wat colour to try n gigi say the colour suits me more... so jiu take liao... buy everything liao jiu proceed to BB matt's chalet in downtown east... stay thr till 9pm jiu chiong cab home so that can pack my bag... also packing bag for my mon's school whaha...

tml will be the wedding day... will be one bz but joyful day too!! whaha cant wait sia... n following tml will be reopen of sch on mon!!

Hahaha a mixed feeling for reopening of sch... but mainly the happy one filling me... cos i can see all my love love one shot!! whaha including someone.. *opps!* (hope no one knows who i talking about *blushed*) but the sad part is.... I'M GOING TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY LIFE'S LAST SCHOOL HOLIDAY!!!!! OMG!! so sad... but not to regret.. cos i tink this is the fullest holiday i ever had in my life...!! although still tinking of someone n dunno if he is tinking of me but others r nice whaha.. i'm jus a dwelling or TTM(think too much) type of ppl... just love to ttm whaha....

Nw my nose is machiam like water tap.. going to pop a flu tablet n slp le... if not will look super ugly tml... jya na!!

My dream..

前天晚上我做了个怪梦。有点可怕但也很难为情。

详细情况我有点忘记了，但事件发生在我小学的教室里，我的小学死党也都在，当然那6年的他也在(毕竟他还是我的小学同班同学嘛)。环境好像是大家在玩游戏(应该说大家在策划些'什么'吧)。

后来，我被放在教室外，好像在玩hide n seek所以要闭上眼睛倒数。在倒数的时候嘴角突然感觉热热的然后周围一阵喧闹!我睁开眼看到他就在我面前，脸好靠近。我的死党之一就大声的说他亲吻了我! 喔卖天！我的妈呀！那一刻我呆住了，不知道如何反应，只感觉到我的脸颊好热好热，被吻的嘴角也好热。

之后不知发生了什么事我们大伙就一起走出了学校。他就在我身旁，牵着我的手一起走。

梦里的景色换了，我在和vava n jojo在外用餐。梦里的我很迷惘，但那时已经和6年的他在交往了。我要告诉vava n jojo但不知道要怎么说，我的梦就在说于不说醒来了。

醒来时还感觉嘴角是热的，也感觉好害羞。清醒后就把梦里的事告诉了 vava n jojo结果我们那可爱的vava居然问了一些怪问题-.-

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Mood swing

These few days i'm having a really bad mood swing.... i dunno why...but i tink is of accumulative amount of reasons...

Sorry to my angels as i dint mean to show my temper n my bad mood... had tried to wear my happy mask but ytd the mask spoiled i tink so its nt working... im still vvv moody nw.... hw to cure it???!!!!

anw tht day was tinking wat i need for myself... or my current goal here r the list =D
1. I need a new Minnie mouse soft toy which is nice to hug, cute n non pink....

2. I need a handphone pouch that is big enough for me to put ohone n ez card n also my phone's ear piece cos my phone's speaker spoiled liao....

3. I want to try all my best to gt a bf!!! I tinking if ppl going after me i might nt tink n accept now!! Whahaha i've missed alot in the past. Dun wish to miss again...

Jus woke up frm my nap n i dream of sth again -.-!!!

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醉与否

我承认我是有点醉，但我真的还很清醒好吗.... 我知道我在做什么，也知道我在说什么但val n jojo 就是不相信我还清醒-.-一直觉得我醉了。

其实我真的只是在emo.... jus that i really dun feel like saying out wat am i emo-ing...

After today's drink n chat session i seriously believe that u r jus playing with me. And that you really mean nothing. seriously, i'm jus a stupid woman thinking that u have interest in me whrby the true fact that u r not.... yes we r jus normal frens maybe. Maybe i shld nt even ask the love u mean is it the same kind of love that i have for val n jo? Becos the ans is NOT the YES tht u say. It shld be we r jus normal frenz nt even frens tht is in good relationship like me, val n jojo, n nt even similar to the friendship btw me, gigi n heng.

I hate myself. Really hate myself so much... i dint blame u. Maybe u r jus u all along jus tht i'm noob n dunno hw to control my feelings n fall for someone soooooo fast. N can even have no feelings for E within a period so short! I'm jus idiot. Idiot to max! Kept tinking im wonderful n tht ppl will like me! Whahahahahahaha idiot me. No brain me.

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你不爱我吧?

如果你喜欢我就不会在我身边，让我注意你后，喜欢上你后再把我丢在一边不理我吧！你是在把我当做游戏在玩吗?还是把我当小丑在耍？

如果你喜欢我的话，这几个星期不会都不和我说话吧! 也不理我... 只有我这个笨蛋在想东想西的。

我真的很笨，笨到不可理喻!每天愁眉苦脸我自己看了都烦了。会哭也不知道为什么。变得好不像自己。

现在也在做笨蛋的事，就是写部落格。写得好像你会看到。心里明明希望你看，一方面又不希望你看。希望你看是想让你知道我的心情，不希望你看是害怕你会觉得我很糟糕!

很懊恼耶!你那句我们还是朋友，你爱我让我觉得我更像笨蛋，好像有人一巴掌打在我脸上，我没有哭因为心太痛了。

我应该是世上最笨最傻的女人。太可望爱情所以变得笨蛋了。

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Holiday

This holiday is so far the longest in my Uni life.... although the longest, it is also the last SCHOOL holiday that I will be having in my life.
I can't believe that 3 years course is over in such a short time.
I will definately miss this holiday as I really feel so happy spending time will my cuddly buddies!! hahah they are jus so cute and we had endless laughter when ever we are together.

Mmm.. although I'm very happy but you some how walked passed my mind...
I'm missing you and thinking of you... are you doing the same thing? Are you missing me and thinking of me? Have me ever walked pass you mind during the holiday?
For me to find out n for u to know =D

Yesterday and today I'm bz-ing working at home... quite a tough job but I still love working with MS excel =D Natas Fair coming... will get bz during the weekend...
However I will still enjoy Tomorrow!! whaha as I will see my 2 babies again!! haha spend my few days will my 4 babies n they call me NANNY!!! OMG!! Although sad as I'm not tht old but it is really nice to see them whahah....cant wait for our urban tour...

Cya Tml hopefully whahah! Good nite!!

复杂的心情

从昨晚开始就感觉心情好低落哟。嗨! 我那小小脑袋到底在想什么嘞?

你问我，我也不知道要怎么回你.....
我也想知道自己在想什么。
Jo: 你在想E?
我: 不是。
Jo: 在想他？
我: 不是。
Jo: 在想自己的未来？
我: 也不是。

所以嘞......我真的很想知道我在想什么！

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出外的晚上 =D

现在正乘坐着巴士前往约会的目的地。穿着自己喜欢的连身裙和内搭苦。

从昨晚就在想，今天会是怎样的小学聚会呢? 一个月前我很生气也很难过不知道我今晚回家后会怎样呢?

他会和之前一样当我是好朋友吗? 当什么事都没发生？ 如果这样就好 =D 因为我现在的心里放不下人了。希望一切都ok!!

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充实的一天!

Was sooo soo happy today!! Have a wonderful time with vava and jojo!!! Haha we really got never ending topics to tok on jus feel so wonderful look at them 2 little gals....

We went to NLB to look for our major project information but haha we end up toking non-stop but we got lots of books whahaha!!!!

They bought watches so entire day was discussing on each other watches... -.- and val say she wan buy jojo watch whr she already got one like starwars de watch!! Haha!!

After NLB the boring place we went ECP to cycle!!! So shiok hahaha jojo ride damn slow de and keep complaining her bike got prob whahaha so cute cos is she dunno hw to adjust the gears la... haha everytime so kuku de whaha!! But dint take pic on phone... after tht we went to eat SATAY!!! OMG CRAVE SO LONG!!!

And the siao 3 gals went changi airport to chill and have 2nd round whahaha!!! Go ah kun eat bread, drink and eat eggy... got one photo spoiled by jojo handss... see she keep on hungry and so eager to start eating her eggys and block my cammy... tht hungry mojojojo!!! Whaha
End of day with unlimited topics with vava on bus =D

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Fireworks!!!

Pictures from my Garmin!!! Haha more to be uploaded!!!! Thanks to jojo family for inviting me to take flyer and watch fireworks with them!! <3 爱你们!

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run run run after drinking!!!

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HahA!!! running at candice's hse void deck!!! After drinking at my hse but abit unclear sia....

纯纯的爱 =D

哈哈! 不管是日，台或韩版恶作剧之吻都好好看哟!

琴子那纯纯的单恋能得到回应真是棒耶!!
真希望我也会有这样的对象哟!! 哈哈！ 来庆祝我走出在次的单恋吧! 全身真轻松!!
Happy!!!!

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今天起个大早...因为要去拿回我的迷你电脑... 结果嘞...扑了哥空。 真是的。还好修电脑的人说如果好了的话明天会送去我家。

我们家电脑真坏，人家明明把它修好了才打电话给我叫我去取，结果今天在那里打开时出现了error message。害我白跑也害别人明天要送来真是坏蛋。

这几天，我的心情平静许多... 真庆幸。
现在正要去学校的路上，用着我刚刚download的apps上载部落格 =D 科技真刁!!
等会儿就要去k歌了!!! 等好久了!!!终于 要去咯!!! 真开心 =)
就写到这儿乐!!

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Maybe....

Can't thing just be simple?...

Maybe I really should do wat I mentioned to Jo....

Maybe that will be a better way...

Maybe I'm really selfish....

Maybe i tink i'm too wonderful whr ppl will fall for me...

Maybe the person did not....

Maybe he got someone in mind rather than me...

Maybe I'm just a smokescreen...

Fine... although this is short but still have to let go...

Letting go now is better for me to let go after another 6 years

Yesh... jus let go... it will be pain... but will only be a short while...

Just hope I can do it... just let holiday be here faster...

Holiday I will be tooo busy of think of anything.

Just feel like crying.

12th July

我很生气也很难过
为什么我总会陷进单恋的沼泽中，无法脱身呢？
我一只尝试要和他说话但换来的是等待无回因的不明简讯。
我就这么不值得你回应吗？

我到底在你的心里有着一席 之地吗?
为什么我老是这么不堪，
为什么老是在望着一个可能永远不会到自己身边的人。
6年的教训还不够吗?
为什么又要重倒复彻呢?

我的心情几时才会有回应呢?
不晓得你是不是误会，但那天的哭泣不纯粹是因为那6年，
是我心情真的很乱，可能是因为想你。
但我没跟你说，因为当时我也不知道我对你的心情。
我好傻，一只想你会有用吗?

11th July

I really cant slp.... have beening thinking of some issue recently...am i really that flowet heart whr by i can fall fpr someone right after next?

Mani people ask me to give up on him all these years and now i really gave him up... i dun want to know if he have had any feeling for me before.... i really dun wish to knw as the ans is not impt anymore...this time is a really goodbye and lets be just frens. Frens will be forever. I will not hope for anything anymore... even if he come to me nw and say 'let us be together' i will tink twice... val says sth tht i really agree on... he is those person whr by they wan or dun wan they also wont say out de... true...i know him too well.. he wont say... so wats the time point of waiting..... jus say bye!!

Nw new problems arise... very nice i tink i'm walking back on my old path.... jus so stupid... i'm jus sooo stupid.

A super duper sianzz day....

Hai.... today really got no mood in doing work... how??!!!! Although ah Heng and Giselle is at my house studying but... hai i really still no mood.....

Have been checking if i received any msg... but this sux... no reply!!! jus simple qns and he jus dun wan to reply!! Fine! What for waiting for a nv coming reply... so stupid of me... I tink i jus like to do things that is stupid....hai~!

When will the someone who need me and cherish me appear???

the 2011 me...

Honestly speaking I tink no one will want to read my blog... cos I dun wan to read it neither.... whenever there is a post means that I have some unhappy or troubled stuff... After the hurting Friday I really dunno what am i doing till now.... all my heart and mind is tangled up... can someone please help me untangle.... last fri i cried on my way home from NLB... damn pai say and tht is really the first time i felt so sad... the feelings is messy.... i slept whole day on tue as my mind is still so messy and dun wish to get up...

Ytd me jojo and val wan for a walk @ the esplanade region... I asked jojo u know wat am i troubled about? (cos i dunno how to open my mouth and tell her wat i was troubled about..it is really ridiculous...) and guess wat JOJO said my messy tots out just like tht!! Oh my god! i really dunno hw she know my feelings but damn it! that is what i've been thinking on.!

The issue really ridiculous... and on the way home jojo ask me a qns.... do you tink 6 yrs of feeling will because of someone 6 days and you become confuss???? I was damn shocked to hear that..... i can feel heat going up to my face.... and next moment jojo say...u r face is damn red...!!

For all these time i dun want to admit that i actually LIKE that guy... Oh my... I keep telling myself he is jus a very very very good friend of mine and that i have NO feeling more than fren to him... OMG and what now!! i really dunno how to facce people nw!

Can someone tell me what should i jus do? hide from the someone until we have holiday and we wont be meeting??! this is jus so so so... not me!!! my 6 yrs jus gone like that OMG!